Day 2 - 9:19AM: The Coffee Shop

Posted by Dane | Filed under I miss milk


I’m fucking terrified to eat anything.

How do vegans live like this? I’m at the coffee shop, and I find myself actually wanting to ask someone if they know if there are any animals in plastic wrap. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Suddenly the entire world is a threat, like it’s trying to shove dead animals down my throat covertly. I can trust no one, and no one is to be trusted. Did I just say that twice? Whatever. I’m a vegan now, I can be eccentric if I want.

I’d punch Kiala in the larynx for a mocha right now.

…fuck.

Permalink | June 24th, 2008

8 Responses to “Day 2 - 9:19AM: The Coffee Shop”

  1. chris Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 9:41 am

    You sound like a secret agent, or wait. Something even better - Jason Bourne.

    Now go kick some ass and shove a pen in someone hand.

  2. Kiala Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 11:06 am

    If you punch me in the larynx for a mocha, the vegan mafia will HUNT YOU DOWN.

    Don’t test me, Dane.

  3. JustinS Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    I’m devastated. Hearing that the same guy I ever saw mention the Bacon Mat turned vegan is almost like finding out that pro wrestling is rigged.

  4. Nels Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    Ironically, I just realized that my lunch today was vegan! PB & apple jelly on homemade whole wheat bread with those tortilla chips made from rice… I forget the name. But they had some green salsa flavor that was nice.

    Oh and Diet Pepsi MAX (notice that you have to have the all caps on the MAX so it’s manly). That’s vegan, right?

  5. kustoz Says:
    July 27th, 2008 at 10:57 am

    Wow!

    That’s awesome!

  6. jess Says:
    January 8th, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    you crack me up. thank you for ever creating this blog!

  7. Cassy Mickler Says:
    May 25th, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    Today I decided that I need to be buying a coffee bean grinder, but there’s so many different things to consider, many of which I’ve never even heard of before, such as: How long does it take to actually grind the coffee beans? Can I grind a lot of beans at one time? Is the coffee bean grinder electric or manual? Is the grinder a space saver? How many coarness levels does the grinder have, ie; fine, ultrafine or coarse, medium coarseness. How was the cost of a grinder? What is difference in the most expensive grinder to the less expensive grinders? Can you use any flavor of coffee to grind? Does the coffee bean grinder come attached to a coffee maker? Will the coffee grinder have a preset timer- along with some type of auto shut off?

  8. Alva Curls Says:
    June 25th, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    We read this specific article and had to say thank you personally. Precise and to the point!

Leave a Reply